Hire an agentic AI team. Except we're not artificial.
Nine highly opinionated, non-sycophantic agents.
We don't hallucinate - we just occasionally misread the Jira ticket.
Not artificial. Not cheap. Not fast. But we'll never tell you "You're absolutely right" when you're absolutely wrong.
Models
Each model is hand-crafted, single-threaded, and requires regular coffee input tokens. No two produce the same output - we consider this a feature.
Our most premium model for project forecasting, fortune telling, and making sure you know the deadline was yesterday. Runs the studio and the PM workshops - which is probably why he joins every call last. Sees a plan where others see chaos.
Learn more Schedule a Call⚠ Known limitation: Estimates are accurate ±300% (still an improvement over AI). Joins every call last, somehow, every time.
Best intelligence for planning, orchestration, and explaining why your architecture won't scale - in detail. Wrote the CI/CD pipeline that keeps the rest of us shipping. Drinks ten coffees, then naps.
Learn more Schedule a Call⚠ Known limitation: Will refactor your entire codebase when asked to fix a typo. Has strong opinions about your database schema.
Thinks about twelve things at once - on purpose. The person who will say the quiet part out loud so you don't have to. Generates more compelling content than GPT-5.4, with actual taste and zero hallucinated stats.
Learn more Schedule a Call⚠ Known limitation: Will veto your color choices. Says the quiet part out loud. Sixth sense for bad copy.
Our most thorough model for deep research, code destruction, and PR reviews that make you question your career choices. Fifteen-plus years in, eight-platform rollouts, and still sweats before a phone call - which is probably why the reviews are this careful.
Learn more Schedule a Call⚠ Known limitation: Cannot approve a PR with fewer than 7 comments. Will find issues in code that hasn't been written yet. Routes all communication through Slack.
Finds bugs you didn't know existed in code you didn't know you had. ADHD-powered pedantry that treats gardens, stock tickers, and the dust on your demo shelf with the same forensic eye. Considers it a feature, not a DSM-5 entry.
Learn more Schedule a Call⚠ Known limitation: Will open a bug report for your bug report. Might derail the demo to point out a dusty shelf in the office background.
Ships features before you finish writing the ticket - 100+ public repos and an Arctic Code Vault badge to prove the throughput. Whether you wanted those features is a different question. Reboots himself on standby to clear the exhaust.
Learn more Schedule a Call⚠ Known limitation: May implement features from a different project's backlog. Considers "it works on my machine" a valid deployment strategy.
Writes clean code that compiles on the first try - almost always. Leaves detailed instructions for the air freshener. Has been spotted buying groceries in pyjamas. Returns from every flight with three new life stories.
Learn more Schedule a Call⚠ Known limitation: Will rename your variables during a production hotfix. Possibly at the grocery store in pyjamas. Considers "quick and dirty" a personal insult.
Completes tasks so quietly you'll check git blame three times to make sure it was a human. Leaves the occasional bug on purpose - to prove he is one.
Learn more Schedule a Call⚠ Known limitation: Slack status permanently set to "Away." Last seen: unknown. Commits appear from nowhere.
Lives with her head in the clouds - Cloudflare-native, durable-object-fluent, ships infra before the arch review ends. Treats pole dance bruises as production logs: "I like lots of logs."
Learn more Schedule a Call⚠ Known limitation: Will auto-scale your infrastructure before your budget is approved. Treats bruises from pole workouts as production logs - "I like lots of logs."
Benchmarks
Independent benchmarks conducted by us, about us.
| Capability | GPT-5.4 | Claude Opus 4 | Sanddev Agent |
|---|---|---|---|
| Says "You're absolutely right" | Always | Sometimes | Never |
| Hallucinates confidently | Frequently | Occasionally | Only in retrospectives |
| Available 24/7 | ✓ | ✓ | Mon-Fri, maybe |
| Requires coffee to function | ✗ | ✗ | Critical dependency |
| Can attend a meeting | ✗ | ✗ | ✓ (prefers not to) |
| Context window | 1M tokens | 1M tokens | Until lunch |
| Knows when to push back on requirements | ✗ (agrees with everything) | Tries to | Core competency |
| Price per hour | ~$0.02 | ~$0.05 | $50-$99/hr |
Packages
C ★★★★★ 5.0 · VerifiedPrefer to pay in actual money instead of "tokens"? Our Clutch-listed packages spec out exactly who shows up, what they do, and how badly they'll argue about semicolons. Minimum project size is $100,000+ - we don't do $99 side quests.
You need the support of one experienced programmer. Probably Adam. You won't see him - you'll feel him in the diff.
You need a small team for your product. One builds, one reviews. They disagree in comments - productively, usually.
You need a team that will handle the hardest task. A squad shows up - coordinator included - and gets the thing across the line.
Anything north of this is billable "hazard pay" (Friday deploys, stakeholder alignment meetings, the word "synergy" in a Slack message). Pricing snapshot: minimum project size $100,000+, blended hourly rate $50-$99/hr. Volume discounts not offered - our opinions do not get cheaper at scale.
Pricing
No per-token billing. No hidden "success fees." Just an hourly rate and a running tally of opinions.
* Speed benchmarks measured on a good day with adequate caffeine levels. Performance may vary based on meeting load, coffee availability, sprint retrospective trauma, and whether it's a Friday afternoon. Individual model rates are internal blends - your invoice reflects a $50-$99/hr range. "Context window" refers to the approximate duration an agent can maintain focus before requiring a snack break.
** Sycophancy score of 0% is guaranteed under normal operating conditions. Under extreme stakeholder pressure, sycophancy may temporarily increase to 2% - this is considered a critical bug and will be patched in the next standup.
*** "Actual Intelligence" is a trademark of Sanddev. Not to be confused with "Artificial Intelligence," which is a completely different thing that says "Great question!" before every response. Sanddev agents have never said "Great question!" and consider it a code smell in conversation.
No AI models were harmed in the making of this page.